Previous instalments: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4a Part 4b
The fever broke the following morning. I hadn't needed Doctor Renwick's
help after all; and fortunately he'd been delayed by some more urgent
case, so I didn't have to worry about awkward questions arising from an
examination. When I woke I rolled over and saw David, sleeping beside me
- he looked exhausted, poor dear. I propped myself up on an elbow and
watched him for a while, appreciating the lines of his face while
processing all the thoughts that had come to me during the night.
After a while I made my decision. I sat up, ready to try standing. A quiet voice stopped me.
"Susan?"
"Sorry, David, I didn't mean to wake you."
He reached up and stroked my cheek with his hand. "It's good to see you
looking better, love. Your temperature's come down, too. How do you
feel?"
I laughed. "Still a bit giddy." I lay back down and hugged him, my head
against his shoulder. He was warm, and I felt safe in his arms. After a
while I raised my head, and looked directly into his eyes. "David. I've
got something important to say."
"Okay." He looked at me, patiently, lovingly. Suddenly I felt shy and nervous again. I sat up; so did he.
"I've been thinking about what you said, what you wanted. About
children. I've never given you an answer, and I know how it's hurt you."
"There's no need -"
"No, David, listen. I... I really want to explain. There's been a couple
of things stopping me properly thinking about it. One is, this didn't
seem a very good place or time to start a family. But I've been
remembering some of the people I met on my travels, who had children in
much worse circumstances. The metaxi, for instance, who'd only just
landed on a new world: they had even less to work with than we do. And
the people of the Nest, who knew that many of their children would be
killed before they reached maturity. Just because the future's uncertain
doesn't mean we have to put life on hold! Every minute those children
live adds something to the universe, and it's taken this fever to make
me realise that denying someone a chance at life is no way to protect
them!
"Except, well, there's something else which means that's not quite the
choice we've got. The thing is, I won't be able to bear you a child.
Please don't ask me to tell you how I know; I just do. But there are
orphans out there, right now, who could do with a loving family. Their
lives are worth living, even as they are; but I think we could make them
so much better. So I guess what I'm saying is: how do you feel about
adopting?"
He looked at me in astonishment. "How do I feel about it? It's a
wonderful idea!" He paused, and looked worried again. "But it'll mean
some big changes. Are you sure you really want it? It's not the fever
making you say all this?"
I smiled. "I'm sure," I replied, and I was. That's another advantage of
my background: I don't have to say things to work out if I mean them.
David nodded, thoughtfully, then laughed. "Why not?" he said - and those were the last words either of us spoke for a while.
Our lives turn on such tiny things. Ian, Barbara, David - who knows what
would have happened to them if the TARDIS had taken me somewhere
different, just once? And then there's you. The odds against you even
being born were immense, but here you are. There are so few people I can
talk to about my travels; and I suppose it won't be that long before I
have to decide how much I can say to you, too. For now, though, when all
you want from a conversation is the sound of my voice, you can be my
confidante.
So close those eyes, my miracle baby. I'm sure you have a wonderful,
full life ahead of you, however long it lasts; but right now there's
nothing you need to do, except rest. Sleep well, my beautiful boy. My
Alex.
THE END
Next Time:
Some notes on the writing of this story - including some information on
when you'll get to read the other half of the adventure...
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