Past Doctor Adventure 44: Byzantium!, by Keith Topping

This story fills in the gap between Desperate Measures and The Slave Traders, and it's an odd one to judge. There are several things that make me want to give it a really low score, but there are also a couple that make me want to rate it highly. It is, however, in no way average.

As you probably know I've got a low tolerance for gore and violence, both of which are plentiful here. Topping is obviously emphasising how life is nasty, brutish and short in the Roman Empire; but to my mind the gruesomeness is overdone, with graphic explanations of how crucifixion kills people and an emphasis on the low value placed on life. I can see his point that this side of things is often ignored when we focus on What the Romans Did For Us, but this is taking things too far in the opposite direction! And if you want to write a critique on the consequences of colonialism I prefer the somewhat more subtle approach of A Thousand Tiny Wings, which acknowledges the iniquities without demonising anyone (except in the eyes of other characters).

Another thing which bugs me is the regular characters not sounding like themselves, and this is a particularly egregious example: some of the time they are unrecognisable. Barbara suffers least from this, but then her mannerisms on TV are also the least distinctive. Vicki (here given the surname Pallister) doesn't sound right but at least she behaves somewhat appropriately - for her, not for the role she finds herself in. The Doctor is a caricature of himself, with his signature phrases worked to death (in particular the number of times he gets Ian's name wrong); and his past is also overly-referenced. He would have needed years of adventure before An Unearthly Child just to cover the places and times he mentions in this book: Mondas! Half a dozen visits to the ancient world! I've lost track. He also hates slavery, and has a keenly honed sense of trouble. Oh yeah? Since when?

Still, Ian is the one who is most unlike himself. Sometimes he uses cockney rhyming slang, sometimes he talks like an English version of Philip Marlow:

"If you want to talk geography, darlin', then fine. Not my subject, but I'll give it my best shot. But if you're looking for someone to warm your bed for you then you can think again."

On one occasion, he has to stab someone in the back with a gladius to save Vicki and Barbara. He later comments that the man eventually "got the point." I'm sorry, but that simply isn't the Ian I know. To my mind, there's nothing James Bondy about the schoolteacher who's been forced to become a reluctant hero (though to be fair, Bond wouldn't have been valiantly resisting the charms of all the women who throw themselves at him).

In complete contrast to this last point, his National Service apparently comprised six months spent whitewashing the steps of RAF Lynham. It's not Topping's fault that this contradicts other stories from the expanded Whoniverse, but it still contributed to my sense that this was something outside the usual continuity.

On to the history, then. The first thing that struck me (and Isaac, who read some of it before I got to it and realised it wasn't exactly ideal for children) was the odd military terms - legionnaire, captain, sergeant. Why can't the writer use the more common names? We had trouble figuring out the Roman army equivalents, because the organisation just doesn't translate directly. I was also knocked by Ian referencing the iconic nature of The Morecambe and Wise Show, which started several years after he left Coal Hill. My mind kept imagining a missing adventure where they visited the 1970s and he fell in love with the program, before I pulled myself up for being silly.

Still, the historical detail of Byzantium itself is one of the book's saving graces. The idea of splitting the team four ways and using this to explore four different aspects of the city (Roman, Greek, Orthodox Jewish and Christian) is very well realised. It's also a gripping tale - I was really keen to know what happens next throughout. So, although it doesn't feel right as a Who novel, and it doesn't fit with my level of squeamishness, it is actually a well-plotted and well-written book.

This wasn't enough to rescue it for me, though; I am writing this on holiday in Northumbria, and have just sold Byzantium! to Barter Books in Alnwick, using the proceeds to pick up a seventh Doctor story I fancied. Barter Books is a rather wonderful shop, based in the old railway station and offering places to sit and read, along with tea/coffee and biscuits. There's also a model train that puffs around the top of the shelves, and they've now opened a buffet. Very civilised.

One last thing: this book has a framing sequence, rather like the Big Finish Companion Chronicles. We get to see something of Iananbarbara's future - which is nice - and there's a joke about Ian's gladius that reminded me of the bit in Carry On Cleo where a slave is branded with his owner's initials, WC. I enjoyed it.

Morality and the Law, Part 1: Back in Print
When looking for a copy of this book to read, I noticed an interesting thing: it is available in a downloadable Kindle edition. Now, I am a great believer in not depriving creators of their livelihood. Not surprising, really, since until very recently (when an injury caused a drastic lifechange) the entire output of my working life had been made up of intellectual property. I don't have a Kindle and I like physical books, so I went ahead and bought a secondhand copy anyway; but there's something different about doing so this time. With most of the books I've reviewed up to now, this has been (for me) a matter of preference. I'd have no moral objection to reading an uploaded scan, because the authors and publishers wouldn't be getting any of my money anyway. With Byzantium!, though, I would object - because it's back in print (regardless of the fact that it's in an inconvenient format for me), scans actually feel like crime. It's like my watching Planet of Giants off the Internet - now that it's available again from the BBC I just wouldn't do it.

This is not how the law works, of course, and I've also yet to figure out how buying secondhand fits into all this; but it made me think.

Published:
Date: July 2001
ISBN: 0-563-53836-8

Rating:
Mine: 2.5/10.
2012 Gallifrey Base Non-Dynamic Rankings: 6.08, 42nd out of 73 Past Doctor Adventures, 149th out of 264 overall.

Next Time:
Romans Cutaway.